Titus 1:6 (part 3)

We have seen that the standard for Christian leaders is that they be above reproach. After setting that standard, Paul started listing specific ways in which the leader must be above reproach. He must have obedient, God-honoring children, and now, he must be “the husband of one wife.” This particular phrase has been parsed and inspected to a staggering degree, but it is because it is so important. It has many times been declared to mean that a leader must be married, that he must have been married only once (normally this is anti-divorce, but in extreme cases some will even say a man cannot be widowed and remarried), that he must be completely committed, etc. 
It helps to clear up the matter a bit to explain the Greek phrase. This verse literally says a leader should be a “one woman man.” The requirement is that a man be a great husband—wholly devoted to his wife. To a degree I believe this man should not be divorced and remarried because that signifies a certain level of major failure on his part (though if his divorce was before his salvation, I would not hold that against him—he was an unbeliever). Also, both Jesus and Paul had positive things to say about those who choose to remain single for ministry reasons. This verse is speaking about the one who is married and desires to be a leader in ministry. He should be completely devoted to his spouse. 
Some think the “one woman man” requirement is simply because God hates divorce (true), but it goes deeper than that. In Ephesians 5 we see that marriage is one of the analogies that God chooses to symbolize His relationship with the church. When marriages fail, especially because the husband was not properly loving (as Christ loves the church) that analogy is destroyed.
So, how should a husband love his wife? The biblical definition of love is to choose the good of another even at personal cost to one’s self (see Jesus, crucifixion). When a man loves his wife, he will choose what is best for her. Sometimes this means working long hours to provide for her, sometimes this means engaging otherwise dormant emotions to relate to her, sometimes this means firmly confronting selfishness or other sin in her so that she will be more like Jesus. 
If you are a “one woman man,” you should love your wife—you will do what is best for her in every situation. If you are not willing to do that, you should not be a leader of God’s people.
Titus 1:6  If anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife…

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